New Years Eve

So I found myself sitting on an uncomfortable wooden bench, but as comfortable as could be. It is New Year’s Eve, but only 8pm. Was it the homemade corn beer? Or was it the dubbed episode of Fear Factor that I was watching with my Costa Rican grandfather and grandmother? (Two people who have never seen a beach, a train, a cruise ship, or an iPhone) I’ll give more weight to Fear Factor because it inspired all the entertainment that I withdrew from the commentary my grandparents were making about the contestants. One group of contestants were covered in tattoos and seemed like they were on some speed-based drug, but as we all know, that’s how you get on a game show to begin with. If you’re not on drugs, you just act like you are. That group was called the “apestosos”, which means smelly. Another group consisted of a powerful, assertive woman and a less-than-powerful man. The woman was described as the one that “lleva los pantalones” in the relationship. Luckily for all of us, that is an expression that translates directly in almost all the languages I’ve ever learned. To help you imagine my grandfather’s personality, he’s kind of like a toned down Mohamed Ali interspersed with Ghandi and Al Roker. “A CARAMBAAAA!” is his favorite expression. My grandmother is a bit reserved but she’s got everything working for her. She’s miniature, has a mousy voice and a brilliantly tiny laugh, and usually just giggles at everything. So after eating chalupas and drinking chicha I found myself answering questions about whether or not the Fear Factor contestants were a representative sample of the United States population. I said yes, of course.

New Years Eve is not quite over, it’s just that when you’re buzzing on chicha, from corn which, ten days ago, you plucked from the stalk, stripped from the cob, soaked then wrapped in banana leaves, then ground and boiled yourself, you start to appreciate just about everything more than you normally would. So with three full hours of hilarious exchanges left to go, I find myself at my computer with a desperate desire to catch all the things I’m feeling right now. This short entry might not reflect a certain reality which is important to me right now, that is, that I have overcome a hump that I thought insuperable only a few days ago. With the help of my father and mother, and a few good friends, all the highlights of the many possible perspectives regarding my stay here in Costa Rica became clear to me. I have decided that I am exactly where I need to be right now, that all is right in the world, and that it could never be any different.